by user Fredcai
In an effort to beef up this site's number of articles, I present an essay I wrote a year or so ago in junior honor's english. Its not long at all, but it was fun to write.
Chicken stew has been a staple of the diet and ambrosia to the tongue for centuries. Because of this, it is truly a great distinguishing title that Athens, Alabama has, the Chicken Stew Capital of the World. As well known as this fact is, few are aware that chicken stew is directly due to the effects of the mammoth and the printing press. Without these two crucial objects in history, Athens would have never become the world renowned city it is today.
Mammoths were the behemoths of the ice age. Their awesome size, however, made them a tantalizing target for primitive men. The small hunters had to truly work as a team to bring down their prey, and once this deed was done, they celebrated the successful hunt. During this time of enjoyment, music was introduced. Men eventually combined the teamwork of the hunt with this new form of art to create bands.
Several thousand years later, a man named Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press, and as he was German, he was probably enjoying a beer and the music of an oom-pah band (thanks to the mammoths of old). The increased numbers of books from printing press allowed for general schooling, and the exchange of knowledge led to an increase of exploration. The New World was discovered and, a few hundred years later, the town of Athens was founded. The idea of education spread and finally found Athens, and thus Athens High School was founded. Building upon the ancient ceremonies of the hunt, the marching band was also formed.
People enjoy eating. Due to this fact and the difficulty of hunting prey such as mammoths, they began to domesticate animals. Chickens have become a very popular source of food due to their tasteful flesh and their ease of domestication. With the advent of the industrialization, spurred by the printing press, chicken processing plants were built to efficiently pack the coveted meat of Gallus gallus. One such factory was built in Athens. As the town grew into a city, its high school and its marching band also expanded. To procure more funding, the band took advantage of the local chicken factory. They started selling delectable chicken stew, and Athens took its rightful place as the Chicken Stew Capital of the World. Unfortunately, this title also carries risks, such as being the likely first strike of a Chinese invasion (a popular expression in China is no chicken, no satisfaction).However, it is clear that the illustrious city of Athens, Alabama stands prepared to defend its chicken stew and the stews mighty and intricate history, all because of mammoths and printing presses.