by user Nonnka
I always thought that I hated Valentine’s Day because it was a commercial holiday designed to make single people feel bad. However, it turns out that there is a more profound ideological reason for my animosity—my solidarity with the freedom-loving people of North Korea. As Eugene Volokh points out, it’s “Not Just Valentine’s Day—Great Leader King Jong Il’s Birthday.” Mmmm…Why didn’t I notice this before? Mmmm…Double the celebrations! I see visions of heart-shaped boxes of chocolates with Dear Leader’s face and other disturbing treats. (This reminds me of a Soviet joke about a king-size bed for newlyweds called “Lenin is With Us...”)
Back in the U.S.S.R., there was no Valentine’s or Mother’s Day but March 8th, the International Day of Women, was (and still is) a big holiday. I remember being given a rubber ducky by some assigned boy in my school on the happy day. (Boys, in turn, got toy tanks on February 23rd, Day of the Soviet Army and Navy...So much for gender equality.) Of course, the socialist stuff aside, the real purpose of March 8th was to serve as a sort of Yom Kippur for Soviet men. On this day, they had to go out and buy flowers and maybe candy for their mothers, wives and so on after never so much as offering to wash a plate on this or the rest of the 364 days of the year. With Valentine’s Day taking off in the formerly Evil Empire, they will have to do this TWICE. There is some justice in Russia’s transition to a market economy after all.
This post first appeared on NonnaBlog.