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Democratic Dodgeball

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by user PhatShady

Electiveness

 

 Electiveness can be defined as that strange quality of Truthiness and Gravitas that a candidate needs to be nominated by their respective party and then win the general election. That is, does the Gut of the Middling Middle feel that the person is Presidential enough to be President?

 

The Middling Middle are the people who are responsible for such terms in American Politics as the 'Convention Bounce' and 'Bump in the Polls,' they are swayed by a candidates Electiveness, not substance.

 

There are Stalwarts in each party who know the facts and make a reasoned choice. The sad truth is that these people don't decide elections; it is the people who make an emotional choice that are in far greater numbers and ultimately choose the Leader of the Free World.

 

Previously I wrote a blog entitled, ' The Alpha Wolf Theory of American Politics ' that goes into greater detail. (Ignore the first paragraph that was a complete disaster!)

 

As a Gut Level Voter how do I feel about each candidates Electiveness, Before and After tonights debate?

 

Hillary Clinton

Before: The Republicans want to run their candidate against her, they truly believe that she is defeatable and most likely will be once the Rove Hate Machine gets rolling. Her only hope as the nominee is that Ron Paul or Mike Bloomberg run as a third party candidate and siphon enough votes away from the Republicans. Of course either gentleman could siphon votes from the Democrats as well.

 

After: She seemed a little hawkish yet somehow softer than her previous appearances. She also seemed the most comfortable of the candidates. She acknowledged that the Iraqi's themselves had failed to stand up as a nation after we did their dirty work for them. She showed some honesty when she told the audience that the president just can't snap their fingers and change things, government has checks and balances boys and girls. She also objected to answering 'hypothetical' questions and I found that to be astute, one never knows how you will respond given few variables. Overall I think that she gained some Electiveness with the nation.

 

Barack Obama

Before: MrsShady really likes this guy, but I'm starting to have my doubts, sure he is a great speaker but what is he saying? I think he sort of dodged the whole " Hillary 1984 " issue. Then he welched on paying the guy on MySpace less than $40,000 for the page the guy had been working on in honor of him with about 20,000 friends. In my book that puts him at 'DickWeed' status.

 

After: It seemed that the other candidates questioned his positions the most. He talked a lot but I'm not really sure what he said. I would have liked more specifics other than my plan this, my plan that. Overall I think that his electiveness stayed or perhaps decreased a minor fraction. Too bad, he really needed to differentiate himself from the other candidates to pull ahead.

 

John Edwards

Before: The $400 haircut is really stuck in the mind of the Middling Middle, and the primping video from the last campaign still gets plenty of airplay. Add that to the fact that his wife has cancer, shouldn't he be home taking care of her?

 

After: Came out of the gate stating he didn't like bumper stickers, I don't like them either they distract people from paying attention while driving and cause accidents. He appeared to be somewhat desperate in his questioning of Clinton and Obama's respective viewpoints. Careful John or you won't be offered the VP position on the ticket again!! Overall lost some of his electiveness, we don't want to hear why the others are wrong John; we want to hear why you are right.

 

Bill Richardson

Before: With the on going public outrage about this immigration bill do you really think that an overweight Mexican-American has any Electiveness? Or as Carlos Mencia would say, "Fat Ass Beaner." However, probably most qualified candidate on foreign policy.

 

After: Did you know that he was the Governor of New Mexico, no, he only told us about a kazillion times. Totally dodged the genocide in Iraq question, Immigration Bill, and quite a few others. Overall Electiveness just went on life support.

 

Joe Biden

Before: Old Uncle Joe, he acts like he is owed the nomination, think Bob Dole in 1996, and how great that turned out. And what is up with that hair? His skull kind of glistens through it and it looks all lumpy, freaks me out.

 

After: Joe actually came through with a win when he needed one. He didn't take Blitzer's bait about the other candidates being wrong about not voting the troops more money. Honestly told people that the Democrats just don't have enough votes in the Senate to make a difference. Talked common sense about just how the hell are we going to deport 12 million people? (I'm sure DocManJ has a few ideas, but he doesn't read my blogs anyways.) Joe was clear, concise, and passionate without being scary like McCain at the same time. But then again he did get a little overwrought on the Darfur situation. Overall gained the most electiveness of the candidates, will make a great VP on the ticket with Gore, doh!!

 

Chris Dodd

Before: This man has no eyes!!! And he always seems pressured and angry. Switch to decaf Chris!

 

After: Blah blah, blah, insert talking point, blah, blah blah. The memorial for Senator Dodd's Electiveness will be held at Christ Memorial at noon tomorrow, BYOB.

 

Dennis Kucinich

Before: The Keebler Elf comes to life!! But his wife is really HOT!!! She has an  English accent and her tongue is pierced!! Do you think that if I vote for him, she'll like, you know, me and her, ahh fuggedaboutit.

On the upside Dennis reminds me of the good qualities that we all possess. He really believes that we are capable of creating a better world. But like Agent Smith said in the Matrix, "We created a happy world for you, it was a complete failure."

 

After: He invoked FDR and JFK but not WJC, WTF? I have to hand it too him though he put it too us straight with discussion of the amount of medical bankruptcies and how we should get us out of NAFTA and the WTO. It really sounded great and he probably improved a little bit, but he just looks creepy. Overall no change in Electiveness.

 

Mike Gravel

Before: Crazy Grandpa is off his meds, film at 11!!! You Beautiful Bastard, where have you been? Oh that's right, under a rock.

 

After: Mike didn't let up on his contemporaries, not one bit. He put the blame for the mess this country is in rightfully at the feet of both parties. He also brought attention to the subsidies that the oil companies enjoy which the other candidates immediately took over. Every election needs a Mike Gravel. Overall no change in Electiveness.

 

Let's close with some thoughts about the debate. Wolfie started out doing a great job in describing the genteel format of the debate. He called attention to the fact that many candidates weren't answering the question asked, just the question they wished they had been asked. Almost all of the candidates dodged answers to questions posed and Wolfie let them know it. However, it became abundantly clear early on that he was going to let the top 3 candidates get the most airtime and monopolize the discussion.

 

I thought the best question of the night came from a social worker that asked, "Why can't veterans choose their care providers?" Hit me like a brick, it should be a no brainer that veterans be allowed to do this instead of being stuck going to an over bloated and inefficient bureaucracy like the current hospital system for veterans we have now.

 

I thought the most insightfull answers came to the question of what the candidates would do in their first 100 Days as Leader of the Free World. Hillary said she would bring the troops home, kudos. Barack said he would provide healthcare for everyone!! John said he would 'travel the world,' hunh?? So your first act as Commander and Chief is to go on vacation? -100 cool points. Bill said he would do something about schools because he is governor of New Mexico don't you know and he was just brilliant there, just ask him. Joe promised that he would end Iraq, solve Iran, and diffuse Korea, and on the 101 day he rested. Chris said he would restore Constitutional Rights, dadgummit!!! Dennis promised to rid the world of Nukes in 99 days or less. And Gravel promised to end the war, since all his positions evolve from this premise.

 

The best quote of the night came from the pregame show with Lou Dobbs. In response to some gasbag commenting about the possible end of the two party system Lou eloquently stated, "The 2 parties are responsible for breaking down the 2 party sytem." Amen.

 

Ps—Kevorkian will be on Larry King Live on Monday!!! Back to your regularly scheduled crapola.

 

Good Night and Good Luck.





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